Twenty false gods/idols invite you to follow them!

  1. Follow me Sobek, the crocodile god. I am a fertility god and far more powerful than Heqet, the ugly frog god. I am virile beyond belief…
  2. Follow me Baal! I am a Canaanite fertility god and I promise to bless your harvests if you will only give me your children…
  3. Follow me Artemis, the goddess of hunting. I love my gladiator servants who kill wild animals in the Colisseum. I sponsor temple prostitutes and a tidy silver shrine business.
  4. Follow me Sulis-Minerva – Curse your enemies with my magical, supernatural power. That man who stole your toga is toast!
  5. Follow the stars and fate – we can tell you exactly what is fated for you – so relax, sit back and endure the journey. If you are a child abuser like Tiberius…don’t worry – you can’t help it.
  6. Follow me the divine Number 10. I am the never-swerving, the never-tiring holy ten, the keyholder of all.
  7. Follow me the god of sensual pleasure. Let us eat, drink and be merry. Focus please on wine, courtesans and orgies. (Aristippus)
  8. Follow me the tranquillity god. I will give you inner peace as you relax in your garden and make friends (Epicurus)
  9. Follow me the god reason. Think pure thoughts and enslave thick people (Aristotle)
  10. Follow me the pantheist god reason and endure your fate Stiff upper lip old boy! (Marcus Aurelius)
  11. Follow the gods of technology and the internet and there will be an end to hunger, disease, poverty, war and ignorance. (Byron Reese)
  12. Follow the poetry gods. Be unique. Dare to be who you want to be. Let no-one challenge your autonomy.
  13. Follow Pompey, the football god I will ruin your marriage, family and finances but trust in me! (John Westwood)
  14. Follow the scientific materialist way of life. Behold you are a computer made of meat. You are a machine with no intrinsic value.
  15. Follow me the money god. I will show you how to garner a great fortune. You will exhaust yourself in making the filthy lucre and then die in a mansion with no friends.
  16. Follow your heart and become who you want to be. Trust in your instincts and follow your sacred dreams.
  17. Follow Krishna. Forsake the world and live on your own in the temple. Your wife and kids will look after you as you seek enlightenment. Forget them and follow me.
  18. Follow the way of the Bardo and find release from karma and reincarnation. (Tibetan Book of the Dead)
  19. Follow me the god of Christian Science. My name is Mary Baker Eddy and I have spent many hours contacting dead people and they have told me the truth. There is no sickness and evil. It’s all an illusion. Trust me and my special teachings!
  20. Follow me Seth, the spirit guide. You, the worshipper, are ignorant of your deity. It is foolish to repent of your sins. Sin and evil are illusions.

Add new comment